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Terrifying Steps

February 22, 2008

I took a terrifying step today, and put an offer on a house.  I am surprisingly zen about it, which concerns me because whenever I am zen things tend to go horribly horribly wrong.  So, I’m sure I’ll have more fun filled house buying posts soon.  It was a good deal up in Evanston, in pretty good condition.  It is still a lot of money, but who needs to eat, right?

Speaking of eating, I was talking to a banker today and somehow we got around to talking about Fat Acceptance.  (I think we were on hold for 45 minutes so, we chatted a lot.)  She was tiny and pretty, typical banker.  Somehow  we started talking about Jared from Subway.  I speculated that he must be STARVING.  She made the typical “well it’s probably hard to learn not to eat a lot” comments.  And I surprised myself by differentiating between people who binge eat and people who are just fat.  TO a TOTAL stranger.  Yet another terrifying step. 

The whole time we were vaguely discussing the subject I was thinking “Man, she just thinks you’re a defensive fat girl.”   But then she surprised me by pointing out that Jared really could use to “Eat a sandwich” so to speak.  She said that his face doesn’t really seem to fit his skinny body.  I couldn’t agree more.   I think it was a really great conversation, it made me feel better about how the message of FA is recieved by normal people who probably haven’t given it much thought.  Though, it still felt weird to be talking about it with a banker (Or “bank associate” whatever they are called…).

 All in all a terrifying day, I will now go and hide from the world.

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10 Comments
  1. Jen permalink

    “I think it was a really great conversation, it made me feel better about how the message of FA is recieved by normal people.”
    By normal people? Fat people ARE ‘normal’, seeing as how there’s no definition of what makes anyone normal. In fact, I’d argue that the only normal thing about people is how different we all are! 😉
    I hope everything with your house offer works out beautifully.

  2. You’re totally right, that’s exactly what is wrong with the world that fat people are thought of as less normal. I just couldn’t think of a better word for it.

  3. lillian64 permalink

    I feel weird about the whole issue of ‘fat acceptance’. My honey is ‘obese’, but I’m only moderately ‘overweight’. I look like any ‘normal’ weight short person. I feel like I’m not thin, but I’m not fat, either. Why do we need this dichotomy? What I mean to say is that our weight shouldn’t matter.

    My father always wanted me to be petite looking, but I have heavy bones and muscles, plus a good layer of fat. I’m never going to be a hundred and ten pounds soaking wet unless I’m seriously ill or starving for some currently unknown reason. My body seems to prefer a weight at least fifteen if not twenty or thirty pounds higher and I’m fine with that. He’s going to tell me that I look fat until the day he dies and I’m not going to starve myself and lose precious bone, muscle and other internal organs for an ideal that doesn’t fit my body type.

  4. Shinobi, I’ve been finding myself bringing up FA with coworkers, family, etc. Each time it seems to come up almost naturally in conversation, and I just talk frankly about my thoughts on a particular subject, which means on health, omb obesity epidemic omg, body image, and so forth, I find myself getting around to talking about FA. I always bring up the “weight is as hereditary as height,” which seems to at first surprise, but then seem really, really *right* to people. And I think that *rightness* reaction is what has been surprising me. That people who are unfamiliar with FA and with the real science of weight can ‘get it’ so easily (I know this isn’t true for everyone, but still). It just goes to show that if the media really reported in a fat-unbiased way, how quickly public ignorance could be perhaps wiped clean.

  5. I used to be part of a group of parents with special needs kids, who talked sometimes also about their NDA kids. NDA stood for Not Diagnosed with Anything. In that context it was a very useful rethinking of “normal.”

    It doesn’t fit what you were trying to say. The interesting thing is it wouldn’t work to say people of average weight. I think maybe you mean people of socially acceptable weight. Or maybe we should call them people of less than average weight.

  6. thoughtracer permalink

    I always think that is interesting, how you can tell who “should” be fat and who shouldn’t. Like that comment about Jared’s face. When I see people around, I can always tell by their faces if they used to be a former fattie — their faces look gaunt, like a walking ghost. It’s not like if they lost 20 pounds or if they just started eating “healthier” and got within that natural set point range. Like if I were to somehow drop 15 pounds and still be within my setpoint — I’d still be fat, just less fat. But I qualify for WLS, and if I were to go and do it, and then drop 100 pounds or 120 pounds, I’d look like a ghost, a shell, all hollow. That’s what Jared and those former fatties look like — not real people. At least to me. I feel sad for them. I feel like things must be hard for them. I mean, I really feel that way. Like, they are working so hard to be skinny, and hollow, and they look worn out and tired and just, well, sick or something. I am not trying to be mean … it just makes me sad, that’s all.

    thoughtracer

  7. TR,
    My sister is formerly chubby and after she lost a weight (from diet pills and then later Mono) I started calling her Skeleton because I couldn’t even look at her hands. My family tends to carry our weight in our bellys and our butts but our limbs are quite slender. When she lost weight her hands literally looked like skin over bone, YUCK. I also called her Miss Clavicle of the Year, she really hated that one. She’s put some weight back on now, I think she looks better.

  8. jadine permalink

    Congratulations on the offer!! Here’s hoping they accept! Home ownership for the win! 🙂

  9. I don’t think that meth addicts are all that interested in the food.

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