It’s true, Some women are really stupid.
Proof? Charlotte Allen’s latest….. what shall I call this article… hmmm… garbage. Yes, her latest garbage proves once and for all that some women are fucking morons. #1 on that list, Charlotte Allen.
(I appologize to the fatosphere, this article is not fat related, but I am filled with rage and it must be vented.)
Now I want to clarify this fact very carefully, some men are also fucking morons. Case in point Mr. I’s friend who visited last weekend provoked my dog until it bit him, after multiple warnings. This, also fucking stupid. And not even an interesting kind of stupid, more the kind that has caused me to lash out violently towards this indivudal on multiple occasions. (Note to men and women of all ages, never tell an angry feminist to “Settle.”)
Anyway, I know feministing didn’t want to give this article too much sway by fisking it, but there is some “logic” I just couldn’t let pass.
I can’t help it, but reading about such episodes of screaming, gushing and swooning makes me wonder whether women — I should say, “we women,” of course — aren’t the weaker sex after all. Or even the stupid sex, our brains permanently occluded by random emotions, psychosomatic flailings and distraction by the superficial. Women “are only children of a larger growth,” wrote the 18th-century Earl of Chesterfield. Could he have been right?
Ah, the classic “Women are emotional beings while men are stoic and logical” crap. Look kids, men have emotions too, emotions that might even get away from them sometimes if they hadn’t been socialized from a very young age to suppress any emotion besides anger lest they be “A Woman.”
Women on the other hand have been told from a very young age that they are emotional and weak, and that to make the stoic logical men love them they should display their joy fervently and appear weak. Because what’s more important to a woman than acceptance by the patriarchy? I don’t know Charlotte, why don’t you tell me.
On we go. She then goes on an incredibly patriarchal screed lambasting “Chick Lit” and women’s music taste. And y’know what who says that John Grisham is better than Helen Fielding? Who says that Aerosmith is better than Celine Dion? A society which undervalues anything having to do with women ever does. It all comes down to preference ultimately. I prefer Helen Fielding to John Grisham, because sometimes her plots surprise me, and frankly I’d can’t think of two bands I’d rather listen to less than Aerosmith or Celine dion. But somehow just because women prefer it, or it is mostly about emotions, or humanity, suddenly means it is less valuable or less valid? WTF, seriously. WTF.
Has this woman never watched the Spike Network? Or payed any attention to the amount of time and energy wasted on what may be one of the world’s biggest resource drains of all time, professional sports? There are more pages devoted to sports in the Chicago RedEye than to world news. It hurts me deeply. This stuff has NOOOOO affect whatsoever on real life and it just goes on and on for pages, and there are alredy like 10 tv networks devoted to it as well. If the average man reserved a FRACTION of the attention spent on profesional sporting events for something actually important like… oh… I don’t know… ANYTHING ELSE then the world would be a better place. (I’m a little bitter about this, but if you’d spent hours and hours listening to your coworkers discuss the minutia of whatever sport is relevant at the moment while you actually like… did work.. you’d be bitter to. HOURS people. )
Also, I know some women like sports too, these women are also stupid, professional sports are a giant diversion to keep your attention from how much the world sucks. If you don’t know how much the world sucks, you’re letting “the man” win. And he’s already like 2000 games ahead. Want your team to win? Fine. Memorize ever stat of every player since the league began? Get a useful hobby.
Okay, I’m almost done being crazy:
Depressing as it is, several of the supposed misogynist myths about female inferiority have been proven true. Women really are worse drivers than men, for example. A study published in 1998 by the Johns Hopkins schools of medicine and public health revealed that women clocked 5.7 auto accidents per million miles driven, in contrast to men’s 5.1, even though men drive about 74 percent more miles a year than women. The only good news was that women tended to take fewer driving risks than men, so their crashes were only a third as likely to be fatal. Those statistics were reinforced by a study released by the University of London in January showing that women and gay men perform more poorly than heterosexual men at tasks involving navigation and spatial awareness, both crucial to good driving.
Okay first of all if we’re talking about accident’s per million miles driven 5.7 v. 5.1 then it doesn’t matter who drives more, because those figures have already been normalized. (You don’t understand this because
you are a journalist you chose not to learn math Charlotte, not because you are a woman. Most journalists do not understand math, I know this, because I do understand math.) Since men drive 74% more miles a year than women that also means that they cause 74% more accidents each year, which are two-thirds more likely to be fatal. So this boils down to: male drivers kill way more people every year.
Second point, if men drive 74% more than women, men are getting more practice. And anyone with a teenager can tell you the way you learn to drive is practice. Driving is a skill, skills take practice. (contrary to popular belief) That is why people under the age of 25 pay more for car insurance. So maybe the problem is women are more frequently encouraged to give the wheel over to male drivers and therefore get less practice at the skill that is driving.
Sorry, too much thinking for your little brain Charlie? lets move on.
I am perfectly willing to admit that I myself am a classic case of female mental deficiencies. I can’t add 2 and 2 (well, I can, but then what?). I don’t even know how many pairs of shoes I own.
Uhm. So you’re an idiot therefore we all are?
As previously mentioned you are a JOURNALIST, people become journalists because they couldn’t hack the math requirements for any other major in college. You apparently have an irrational fear of math. It’s just so icky and scary, so lets leave it for the logical man types. So you can’t add 2 and 2, or count over 10. But how dare you assume that you’re stupidity applies to the rest of us?
So I don’t understand why more women don’t relax, enjoy the innate abilities most of us possess (as well as the ones fewer of us possess) and revel in the things most important to life at which nearly all of us excel: tenderness toward children and men and the weak and the ability to make a house a home. (Even I, who inherited my interior-decorating skills from my Bronx Irish paternal grandmother, whose idea of upgrading the living-room sofa was to throw a blanket over it, can make a house a home.) Then we could shriek and swoon and gossip and read chick lit to our hearts’ content and not mind the fact that way down deep, we are . . . kind of dim.
Relax? *deep breaths* I have to get this out of the way guys, I’m sorry, language warning.
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING BITCH CHARLOTTE ALLEN. FUCK YOU WITH THE PATRIARCHAL DICK OF DOOM.
Look lady, I”m not any good at any of the things you mentioned, I hate kids, I hate decorating. I haven’t lived in a home since I lived with my mother and she had to hire a decorator. In fact, I’m good at math, and driving and visiospatial thinking, and reading intellectual books and having business savvy, and not getting overemotional even though I’m very upset. But apparently because I have a VAGINA I’m supposed to be bad at all these things. Therefore you’re telling me, and Millions of women like me who have math or engineering related careers, that we’re weird, that there is something unwomanly about us. So please forgive me if I’m not going to relax while some idiot who has no respect for members of her own gender who are fighting for acceptance in their fields publishes this garbage in a national newspaper.
I’m going to be pissed all day. Can we vote this person out of the gender? Her and Ann Coulter? Off the Island? Please?
(Let this post serve as an example of the theorum: In any post in which you call someone else stupid you will find at least 3 really stupid mistakes that you made and didn’t catch before you published it. Sorry if there are more. Update ^300,710: Edited to stop being an asshole about journalists. Sorry.)