Audacious Street Harassment: “Duh” edition
So, I’m having what women who don’t accept their fat call a “fat” day. (Except I think it is still a fat day since I’m still working on accepting my fat.) I’m pre-hemmoraging, feeling sore all through my legs because I walked half a mile in flip flops yesterday, sweaty, wearing just washed jeans that are too tight because of the afore mention cycle anda top that clings in all the wrong places, plus I need to pluck my eyebrows something feirce.
So essentially, except for the fact that this woman at work who I despise quit today, I’m not feeling great about myself. So my welcome home greeting, not so welcome.
I’m walking home from my bus, and I turn onto my street when this car pulls up and someone yells “Hey Shorty.” Now being 6 foot tall I naturally assumed that this individual was not speaking to me. But I was incorrect. He persisted.
Car Dude-“What’s your name?”
Annoyed Shinobi-“Uhh I’m not in the habit of giving it to random people on the street.”
Car Dude – “I just want an introduction.”
Eye rolling Shinobi -“Well I have a boyfriend”
Subdued Car Dude – “Oh… I thought you were single.”
SO the guy proceeds to turn around in the alley by my house. (Yeah this isn’t weird or anything.) And then he stops and looks at me and says:
“You know, I respect that you have a boyfriend and everything. But you have a seriously big ass.”
Pissed Shinobi- “I *am* aware of that, Thank you.”
Seriously, how would I not have noticed that my ass is huge? I mean, it IS my ass. In fact my friends and I have joked about my ghetto booty for some time. When I was younger we used to joke that my booty was so ghetto that wherever I went then instantly BECAME part of the ghetto. (This was mostly funny because I lived in the land of people who have too much money for their own good.)
I wonder if the guy in the car is aware that he has a small brain? DAMMIT why didn’t I think of that an hour ago! If anyone has any more suggestions of things I should have said, feel free to add them.