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Audacious Street Harassment: “Duh” edition

July 17, 2008

So, I’m having what women who don’t accept their fat call a “fat” day. (Except I think it is still a fat day since I’m still working on accepting my fat.) I’m pre-hemmoraging, feeling sore all through my legs because I walked half a mile in flip flops yesterday, sweaty, wearing just washed jeans that are too tight because of the afore mention cycle anda top that clings in all the wrong places, plus I need to pluck my eyebrows something feirce.

So essentially, except for the fact that this woman at work who I despise quit today, I’m not feeling great about myself.  So my welcome home greeting, not so welcome.

I’m walking home from my bus, and I turn onto my street when this car pulls up and someone yells “Hey Shorty.” Now being 6 foot tall I naturally assumed that this individual was not speaking to me. But I was incorrect. He persisted.

Car Dude-“What’s your name?”

Annoyed Shinobi-“Uhh I’m not in the habit of giving it to random people on the street.”

Car Dude – “I just want an introduction.”

Eye rolling Shinobi -“Well I have a boyfriend”

Subdued Car Dude – “Oh… I thought you were single.”

SO the guy proceeds to turn around in the alley by my house. (Yeah this isn’t weird or anything.) And then he stops and looks at me and says:

“You know, I respect that you have a boyfriend and everything. But you have a seriously big ass.”

Pissed Shinobi- “I *am* aware of that, Thank you.”

Seriously, how would I not have noticed that my ass is huge? I mean, it IS my ass. In fact my friends and I have joked about my ghetto booty for some time. When I was younger we used to joke that my booty was so ghetto that wherever I went then instantly BECAME part of the ghetto. (This was mostly funny because I lived in the land of people who have too much money for their own good.)

I wonder if the guy in the car is aware that he has a small brain? DAMMIT why didn’t I think of that an hour ago! If anyone has any more suggestions of things I should have said, feel free to add them.


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  1. littlem permalink

    b”Car Dude – “I just want an introduction.””

    Rejoinders: Snarky Edition

    A: And I’m supposed to care because …
    B: *gasp* Why didn’t you say so? What you want is the ONLY THING IN THE WORLD THAT MATTERS!!
    C: And I want to be Queen of England. Who’s going to get what they want first? Ready …

    Rejoinders: Hyperfocus on Survival Edition

    A: *big sigh to get oxygen* *walks faster — I mean really fast*
    B: *takes out camera – takes Dude’s picture for* *runs away really fast*

    Rejoinders: “I’ve Put Up with this BS since Puberty and I’m NOT TAKING IT ANYMORE” Edition

    Subdued Car Dude – “Oh… I thought you were single.”

    A: *slobbers* *drools* *gibbers* *advances on Dude’s car*

    There are varying theories as to how one should optimally respond to street harassment because of the possibility of the threat of violence, the degree of the male’s need to prove dominance to his peers if there are any around, the degree of the male’s need to prove dominance to his peers if there aren’t any around …


    You can’t win. You can’t break even (although I think if EVERY woman did, things might be different around this here planetary part). You can’t get out of the game.


  2. Oh, please, you KNOW he’s just mad b/c you turned him down.

    Men are stupid and insecure pigs, but I love them!

  3. Shinobi permalink

    For the record I”m not entirely sure that he meant me having a big ass as a bad thing. I mean, obviously he likes big asses enough to want to talk to me. (He is not the first, men who love booty, love me.)

  4. Yes, that’s what I thought, too, I’ve experienced this many a times as well.
    It seemed to me, when I read it, that it was his twisted way of complimenting you.

    From the way you describe your ass, sounds lucious.

    I am ALWAYS trying to get my ass rounder, even bought butt lifter panties.

    Sad state of affairs when you “accidentally” lose weight (not enough $$ for food, don’t wanna get into it).

    Anyway, have a great day and never mind the jerks!


  5. While I really loved your pissed off, “I *am* aware of that, thank-you,” I would equally love to replace it with, “It *is* seriously big… and sexy. Thanks so much for noticing! *grins*” That would’ve put him back in his place! ^_^ Then again, if he really was some kind of creepy perv, that might’ve just encouraged him more… I think you handled it pretty damn fine on your own.

    PS This random commentor stumbled upon your blog while checking out the fatosphere. You’ve probably had enough bizarre encounters with strangers for one day. 😉

  6. Sycorax permalink

    That’s funny, I always got the “I respect that” phrase from guys who were hitting on me when I said I was a lesbian. They would then invariably proceed to continue the conversation for a few awkward moments. I could never decide if they were idiots who thought they were *totally* going to be the one to heterosexualize me, or if they were trying to switch gears and pretend that the conversation was just a friendly non-pickup chat, sort of like a cat will do something spectacularly clumsy and then pretend it was on purpose.

  7. Godless Heathen permalink

    I don’t think it was a compliment. That is, choosing to comment on that one part was an attempt to turn her into a thing that was made up of only that part. It rarely is a compliment when a guy just shouts crap out, and it’s definitely not when they over-ride your “no”. “I just want an introduction” means “to hell with what you want”.

    Shinobi, and everyone else, should be able to walk from point A to point B without having to deal with entitled men-folk. It’s not a compliment.

  8. “I only want an introduction!”

    “Yeah, well, wish in one hand, shit in the other and see which one fills up first.”

    It works even better if they use the word “wish.”

  9. Lina permalink

    My suggestion: ignore. I really think men who approach women like this really want attention, and by even looking at them we are encouraging thier behavior.

  10. Lina I don’t always think ignoring is a safe option. Especially when you are about to walk into your house. The last thing I want is some scary dude knowing where I live.

  11. I always assumed that shorty (in this context anyhow) was just slang for lady/girl/woman. Poorly chosen slang in this instance… but still. I think it was a little better than saying “hey… HEY… HEY OVER HERE!” like the fairy from the zelda games 🙂

    I enjoy using my latent mommy abilities* on them. Disapproval stare for the win!

    *latent mommy abilities – I may never have children, but that doesn’t mean I have to give up the wonderful powers that come with it. Like the “No and I’m not going to change my mind” look, or the “get off of that you know better!” stance.

  12. I looked it up in the slang dictionary and apparently it means “woman you would like to get with.”

    If only I had your Mommy skillz.

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