On being the genetic descendant of Assholes.
I love my Father, I do. He is a great business man, and he’s been amazing to my Mom and to us through horrible horrible things.
He is also an Asshole. The latest component of his Assholery is the presidential election. Whenever I see him he cannot stop bringing it up and lording it over me. Oh I’m so “dissapointed’ you turned out to be a liberal, oh your so dumb dont’ you know Obama is an evil socialist terrorist radical who eats babies. (Okay, he doesn’t really think he eats babies.)
When I was home we argued at great length and volume. As with all our arguments all of my valid points were dismissed, and his were touted. I was verbally attacked, and very few actually valid points were made.
So now he took the time to send myself and my sister a few articles. They essentially boiled down to the following: 1. OBama is a socialist
2. Obama is a terrorist
3. The mortgage crisis is all poor people’s fault. (And the fault of people trying to help poor people.)
He may as well just have sent me the republican talking points for the last 6 months and called it a day.
So I wrote out a thoughtful response, with lots of links to various things I had read showing that the mortgage crisis was because of bad lending, and deregulation. I included statistics and other things. And then I realized, I don’t want to send this to him. So was intending just to send it to my little sister who is tragically ill informed, and I send it to him as well. I even send a follow up, saying I didn’t want to argue and that I miss sent the e-mail. (Yesterday, coincidentally, the day from HELL.)
This morning I get an e-mail back in which he does the following things in all caps.
1. Makes me feel guilty for being his child and costing him money.
2. Ignores the evidence I gave and reiterates his previous points, now in caps.
3. Claims I was condescending and gets self righteous because I dared try to tell him anything.
4. Dismisses me and inserts vague threats about never helping me with anything again.
So I start writing a (tearful, inappropriately, at work, THANKS DAD) apology. And then I’m thinking…. what the hell? This response is just completely out of line, he is ignoring all the points I made and just generally digging his feet in. Why the hell am I apologizing?
But at the same time he is my dad, and I don’t want to have conflict with him.
Mr. I thinks I should tell him he was unnecessary hurtful and that this is why I don’t want to argue with him.
I don’t know what I think. Anyone else have a good option for dealing with a father who is sure you are wrong, stupid and is simultaneously sick of you “knowing EVERYTHING.” (Which is his response to every valid point I make, and I think a secret code for “I can’t stand that you know more about this than I do so instead of making a valid point I’m going to accuse you of being a bitchy know it all.)
I think one of the hardest parts of this is that people always tell me I am just like my Dad. And I don’t want to be like this, I don’t want to pick fights with people just to prove I’m right and refuse to acknowledge when I’m wrong. I really hope I’m not like this.