Of procrastination and blegging
So, I hate going to the doctor. And not just the typical “i hate going to the doctor because I”m fat and it is humiliating.” I also hate going to the doctor because medical things completely squick me out. I would do anything to avoid hospitals for the rest of my life. And every time a doctor tries to tell me what is wrong with me I either almost pass out or have to have someone else come listen to the doctor talk while I stick my fingers in my ears and go “LALALALA” to keep from passing out. It’s totally irrational and but will go to great lengths to avoid going to doctors. (Wait two weeks before getting a UTI treated, yes that is me. Peeing blood is fun! What are you talking about?)
I have a great obgyn, she’s really nice, but we always end up talking about my weight and last year I totally cried. And who wants to go back to a doctor after you’ve cried? Not me. So I’m procrastinating about that by about 2 months. I just dread it so much. I don’t want to go, plus I don’t want to talk about how I am now fatter than ever because I’m still trying to be okay with that, and I”m really really not right now.
And now something is actually wrong with me. I don’t know what, I’ve had this coming going stabby side pain for over a week now, and it isn’t getting better. WebMD’s least scary option is gallstones, but I’ve procrastinated as long as I can and it seems I need to acquire an actual non vagina doctor and go see them. I looked on the fat friendly doctor’s list, but the options were fairly sparse, and I like options. Does anyone in the Chicago area have a doc they can recommend?