Nothin Better To Do

When I turned 13 years old I cried.  But not as much as I cried when “became a woman.”

I never wanted to grow up.  I certainly didn’t want to go to college, and even more than that I did NOT want a stupid boring day job.  I did not want to buy real estate, or have friends who now have newborn babies, or be in 1000 weddings.

But here I am.  At least 3 of my friends are now Mothers and Fathers, and I now have to figure out how to navigate the tricky “I really don’t care about your kid but am happy that your happy” landscape.  All but a few of my friends are engaged.

Plus, I own a house.  (WTF?  I mean I know it’s better than renting and all…but what was I thinking?  Seriously?)

All I can think is, How did I get here?

I remember in HighSchool I didn’t want to go to college, mostly because it was just assumed that that was what I would do.  Inevitably I did go and had a great time, and don’t really remember resisting it.  But it’s not like I went to college and got a boring job because it was what I wanted.  It’s what I did because I didn’t have anything else better to do.

Similarly I’ll probably end up getting married and spawining a few baby ninjas mostly because I can’t think of anything else better to do.

And then I’ll get old, and retire to what’s left of Florida, because I don’t know what else better there would be to do.

Man am I Bored.

Business Plan

Anybody want to go in with me and open up one of these!?

pretty and smart

Pretty and smart is still an unbeatable work combination.

That’s right kids, not Smart and Pretty, but Pretty And Smart, just in case you were wondering on which trait you should base your self worth first.

This delightful article about Flirting in the workplace continues with this (Via Feministing)

I know one big city mayor who used to run a high profile company and only wanted pretty girls around his bullpen. The overweight young woman whose bra straps always showed, and who had the unfortunate habit of burping out loud, lasted minutes before being moved quickly to another floor.

As an overweight young woman, who believes in the right of people with vaginas to occasionally expel gas via their mouths, and whose bra strap has never fit right because the clothing industry hates her, I just want to take this moment to say THANK GOD FOR THAT POOR GIRL.  Seriously?  Who is PROUD of working for someone who is blatantly superficial.  I’m glad she got herself out of the harem.

I mean, I know that’s what every woman wants.   We all secretly long to work for a boss who values us for his view of our cleavage over anything productive we can actually contribute.  I can hear the protests now “But, But, he respects me for my IDEAS.”  That’s right honey, your boss is thinking about your ideas while he watches you saunter through the office in your Jimmy Choos.  And while he admires your gold flecked titties, he’s thinking ALL about that last presentation you gave.

In addition to Courtney’s great points,  one thing that I find really appallinga bout this article as well is, it exsists in a world where men have all the power and women are flirting with them to get that power.  Seriously.  She talks about flirting with powerful men, and male bosses.  She totally glosses over her period of time with a female boss, talking about how insipid she found working with mostly women.  She even talks about working “with” women, and not much about working FOR women.  I can’t help but wonder if perhaps the reason she doesn’t like working with or for women is because they expect her to actually be capable.  You can’t flash your straight female boss a come hither look and get a promotion.

I’m thrilled for Betsy that being a hottie has allowed her to flirt and hump her way up the corporate ladder to a place where she can sexually harass whoever she wants.  But frankly, I’d rather be ugly and unsuccessful than successful and secretly wondering if I got where I am just because my bosses liked to look at my tits.

Going Green: Your Rack of DOOM!

There is a really amusing article today in slate about using boobs to generate power.

Hehehe booooobies.

Sorry, had to get that out of the way.

But the gist of the article is investigating how one could use different new technologies in a bra to harness the kinetic energy of boobs.

I thought the science in this article was very interesting, depending on the size of your boobs and the type of bra you are wearing you would generate different levels of electricity:

Measurements compiled by Lawson and her colleagues show that a D-cup in a low-support bra can travel as much as 35 inches up and down (35 inches!) during exercise, while a B-cup in a high-support bra barely moves an inch.

This is not an apples to apples comparison, but a min max sort of comparison. Which I found a little confusing at first. Very… not scientific. But still amazing to contemplate. Rack of Doom=World traveler.

This means that people with bigger boobs would be able to generate more electricity for their own personal use. Take that small boobed people who can shop at Victoria’s Secret!

I think the funniest part of the article is this bit:

I asked Wang if this bra would be machine-washable.

“You don’t need to wash a bra!” he said.

Uhm, On what planet?

Anyway, it’s exciting that we ladies may eventually be able to put the girls to work!

If by true you mean popular

Feministing had a post today of a video about abortion from TrueTube.  It was very interesting and progressive.  So I was excited when I found a category called “Obesity is not so bad.”

The videos in this segment range from semi-helpful videos, one with a nutritionist about easy to grab meals, a segment on getting girls to excersize,  to a video called “FAT KIDS- WHO’S TO BLAME?”  (Sanity watchers warning.)  If you have some extra SW points you could move to the second page of videos and learn about how to actually tell if you are obese, and hear about people who just love losing weight so much.

So yeah, way to really push the envelope there TrueTube.  Several of the videos feature “people on the street” interviews talking about how fat people are ugly and unattractive.

I was so excited, I saw the video entitled “Obesity = Fad?” The title of the video was even “Obesity is just a fad.”  Ooo, thought I, perhaps they have at least one video that presents a different point of view.  Silly Shinobi, the beginning of the video:

“There are lots of factors that contributes to obesity, but at the end of the day if you consume more calories than your body is able to use up, you will put on weight.”

“Clearly there are a small percentage of people who do  have perhaps thyroid problems or hormonal problems, or other reasons, genetic reasons why they may be predisposed to obesity.  I would say less than six people that I see have a genuine medical condition that’s causing it.”

She goes on to repeat everyone favorite talking points about how people don’t know when to stop eating, they aren’t active enough and they don’t know how to cook or eat together.  She does acknowledge that there are some health professionals don’t agree with her that obesity causes huge problems.  But of course, they are wrong.  Thanks TrueTube for getting THOSE guys on your site to combat myths about obesity. (Quick everyone drink every time you see a headless fatty in that video.  Good and drunk now?  Lets move on. )

I’ve stopped watching now though.  I can’t imagine that any one of these videos are going to continue to do anything but repeat the dominant media narrative on obesity, and assert its “Truth.” I’m so dissappointed.

TrueTube, you are False.  (At least where Obesity is concerned.)

Happy Birthday Vlad!

Today marks the one year anniversary of my boyfriend and me adopting our doggie Vlad. We got him from a Husky rescue. He’s so great, even though he’s terrible at fetch because he is partially blind. He is the best dog we could have asked for! Happy Birthday Monster Dog!

(I had another post up, but I think I am just in a terrible mood and should be ignored right now. So yeah. Happy Birthday to my dog instead.)

To be

The Australian federal government has set up a Preventative Health Taskforce. It’s to make recommendations on preventative strategies to combat the ‘burden of chronic disease currently caused by obesity, tobacco and the excessive consumption of alcohol’.

(emphasis mine) From Fat-O-Matic.

I just cant help my mind being a wee bit boggled when I see things Obesity being held up next to things like Smoking and Drinking.  As though no one else but me noticed that fat is not an action word.

“OMG!  Did you see that girl!  She’s Fating! Doesn’t she know that’s bad for her?”

Fat is not a verb people!  That’s why I have to use the cumbersome phrase *Is fat at Austrailan Preventative Health Taskforce*  In lieu of *fats at the Austrailian Preventative Health Taskforce* because without some conjuration of the word to be fat can not be an action.

I fat, you fat, he/she/it fats?  uhhh  I think not people.

Fat is not an action, though there are actions that they could address?  Binge eating, that’d be a good one,  Starving, also a good one.  Excersizing, that could be a good one as long as they don’t assume that excersizing will immediately lead to an end to Fating.  The same with healthy eating.

I know everyone reading this blog already gets this point.  I just… GRRRRR.  It is ridiculous to see something like “being fat” put next to action verbs like smoking and drinking.  Why don’t they put Shortness up there too?  Or Tallness, I hear there is a tallness epidemic going on now!

It is not a subtle difference to people with a brain, smoking v. obesity.   I feel bad for smokers all the time.  In Chicago smokers have such a hard time, they can’t smoke inside, but they can’t smoke outside either, someone might WALK THROUGH THEIR SMOKE.  They are relegated to pathetic smoker corridors (there is an alley behind our office building that they use.)  And that sucks.  But the thing is, theoretically, they could stop.  They could stop being people who smoke, they could stop smoking, and then they would just be people.

I can’t stop fating.   I sometimes feel like people wish they could put me in an alley, so I don’t pollute the world by making them WALK BY MY FAT. I am not a person who fats, I am a person who is fat.  I could do some other actions, starving and exercising, but those wont end my being fat.

Fat is not something that I do, it is something that I am.  A task force that combats obesity is not combating my negative actions, it is fighting against me, who I am.

I am fat

You are fat

He/she/it is fat

We are fat

Y’all are fat

They are fat

No task force can change what we are.

Before Breakfast Bull…

I haven’t had my cereal yet, but already two important things have been brought to my attention. They probably both deserve their own post… but… eh.

Firstly Mr. Incredible was reading Game Revolution this morning and came across this delightful study. “Proving” that video games are “in fact” a guy thing.

From the Daily Mail article:

In the first study of its type, scientists wired up a series of men and women to an MRI scanner while they played a video game.

This enabled the researchers to monitor the players’ brain activity as they tried to win onscreen territory by clicking on a series of balls.

Professor Allan Reiss, who led the research, said women got the hang of the game and understood how to win the most territory, but were not as driven as men.

‘The males were just a lot more motivated to succeed,’ he added.

After analysing the MRI data, the researchers found participants of both sexes showed activation in the brain’s mesocorticolimbic centre, the region typically associated with reward and addiction.

Male brains, however, showed much greater activation. The amount increased as they gained more territory.

And then from later in the article:

‘I think it’s fair to say that males tend to be more intrinsically territorial. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who historically are the conquerors and tyrants of our species.’

I’m just going to take this moment to point out that if you use a game you KNOW will appeal to men more than women (i.e. one whose goal is gaining territory) then uhm… how is your study valid again?
Based on the number of women I know addicted to Bejeweled and Scrabulous I’m not buying it.

What this “proves” is that games that involve clicking little balls in order to gain more territory are more appealing to men than women. And I totally agree with that, because that sounds like a stupid game.

Nextly, On the Radio this morning I heard the good news. And I know EVERYONE in the fatosphere is going to be so excited.

Teh FaTZ Epidemic is OVER!!

No, srsly:

A new analysis from the federal government shows the obesity epidemic among U.S. children and teens has hit a plateau.

It’s good news because it means the obesity epidemic isn’t increasing.

But a third of U.S. kids remain either overweight, obese or morbidly obese.

Oh wait, so there is a plateau and stuff but make sure you don’t leave those fatty kids alone. We can’t stop shaming them, because if we do they might turn into fat adults and then eat the universe.

Blech.

And now for some Lucky Charms, part of a balanced breakfast.

An Important Holiday

Happy Towel Day!  I just found out about this today but I am so glad. 

Douglas Adams is one of my favorite authors.  If you have not read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy (there are 5 books) you should do it.  I highly recommend the books on tape.  I find that the dialogue and descriptions are so much wittier when someone else is reading them to me in a funny voice.  But the books themselves are great, especially if you enjoy weird british humor. 

If you watched the movie and thought it was dumb, you should still read the books.  Just sayin. 

Also, if you are one of the hoopy froods who knos where there towel is at then Happy Towel Day!  Let us all raise our Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters in memory of Douglas Adams!

Books I Hate.

Today I saw an article about an interview with Jessica Weiner and I immediately catapulted into a semi rage. Confusing Jessica Weiner, with Jennifer Weiner, the author of at least two books I cannot stand and more that I will never read. The reason I cannot stand JW’s books is because, even 6 years ago when I read the first one, her weird weight issues really pissed me off.

It seems, that in order for a book to have a happy ending the character must fulfill their Fantasy of Being Thin. At least in the world where JW writes.

The book “Good In Bed” which I guess was supposed to be revolutionary in that it focused on an “overweight” female character, and treated her like she was an acutal person, has often been recommended to me. I hated this book, not because it was about an overweight woman, but because the overweight woman does not find happiness until two things happen:
1. She loses weight.
2. She finds a man.

Now I read this book a long time ago, so you’ll have to forgive me if I’m oversimplifying her weight loss stuff, this is what I vaguely recall. I don’t really recall the book saying specifically that she couldn’t be happy until she was skinny. However I think it is important to note at the end of the book she is thinner than she was originally, even after having a child. It is not so much that the weight loss is important in her journey to happiness, in fact I vaguely recall some of it being the result of depression, it is that it exists and theoretically is supposed to make the ending just THAT much happier.

(Again possibly totally wrong. But that is the conclusion I drew the first time I read it, and I don’t want to re-read it in case that conclusion is correct and will result in me throwing things. So if you think I am 100% off, just comment and I will believe you.)

EDITED: It turns out I think I am confusing the end of Jemima J with the end of Good in Bed. (Jemima J by Jane Green.) So I hereby replace Good in Bed with Jemima J.

My question, mostly to the author, was Why? Why couldn’t the fat girl have stayed the same weight she was at the beginning of the book and lead a happy life?

I recall better the movie “In her Shoes” which could have been totally awesome. The story about two sisters with all kinds of issues and their family. Having a sister who I am very different from in a lot of ways, I really relate to this movie, and I cry a lot. But weight loss comes up here again, and again, one of the sisters is not happy until she has lost weight.

Again, it is not that she tries to lose weight, or that she says she can’t be happy until she lost weight. She gets a job as a dog walker, and gets in better shape as a result, and has a total career change and is generally much happier. Totally great. But she loses weight, and it comes up in the movie, now she is pretty and thin, and engaged and everything is great. Total FoBT.

I guess my general frustration is that JW’s books, the two that I have read, while purporting to be about real fat women, completely feed into our desire to be thin. (Not to mention female stereotypes. Here is my manifesto: I have a Vagina, and I don’t really care all that much about shoes. )

So, thoughts, do you think I misread these books completely? Any recommendations for better, more fat friendly literature, any genre is welcome. (I prefer books with strong female heroines, just saying.)